Two women running out of fuel, in the middle of nowhere, in the space of 3 minutes.

Standing in the dark, in the park, at 11.30pm, doing my stretching exercises...

And a car comes down the highway, around the corner near me and then travels into town - and pulls into the fuel depot....

I predicted that it would pull into the fuel depot, as it was making the "Brrrrrrrrrrpfftt - Brrrrrrrrrrpfftt - Brrrrrrrrrrpfftt" - running out of fuel noises...

So anyway I did my stretching and headed off that way - and when I got there, OF course the fuel depot was closed, it was dark, no one was around - because this is Bum Fuck Nowhere, and she was sitting in the car - with the ENGINE and lights on, idling for the last 5 minutes - just slurping the absolute dregs out of the fuel system....


(I refuse to work on fuel injection systems, but running them dry and being a clueless bitch - and CONTINUING to run an engine feeding from an almost dry fuel system...  are two of my less favourite topics...)


So there she is, fingering her Ipood, like she is desperately trying to push out a much needed orgasm....

And so I motion to her to wind down the window and we have a short discussion.

It's fucking obvious that she is an idiot, in having gone vast distances across the state - during the day when everything is open and coming back in the middle of the night, when everything is closed......

And her pea brain doesn't register anything... like it's running on city programming with a fuel depot every 5Km, open 24 / 7 - all year....

And her dimwit software needs an update...... Travelling across VAST distances, of rural Australia, late at night, without PLANNING the trip for fuel stops - as in what places are open... and maybe ringing ahead... a few days before hand.


And seriously making the effort to FILL UP the car with fuel at every stop....


So I proposition her, "Your from the city aren't you."


She carries on fingering her plastic pal and starts up with this shit, "Oh is there any fuel, is there any fuel?"


And she was supposed to be in Melbourne at 9pm.. it's now 11.30pm, and she is both out of fuel, in the middle of nowhere, nothing is open, and it's still 4 or 5 hours driving time, to get to the Big Smoke.


I figure that to the best of my knowledge, there is nothing open for the next 80K... but I tell her, "There JUST might be a fuel depot down the highway - about one K - around the corner.... - it might still be open, if not, bed down in the back seat and call it a night."


She then snivells about wanting a bed and breakfast.....

I think, "Oh do go on - shit for brains" - almost totally out of fuel, parked beside the fuel pumps, at a fuel depot...  and wait it out till opening time at 8am Sunday Morning...

Don't climb into the back seat, and make a good bed for the night... put the foot down and start driving around looking for a bed and breakfast / hotel at midnight...

And then run your fuel system TOTALLY dry.

Fucking idiot.

And I move on, on the deadly treadly - eternally free of such problems.

And she heads off down the highway......

Passing me as she goes...

And when I get to the second fuel depot, there is a car sitting there in the dark, with it's lights on, facing me...

So I assume that it's HER and I hang a U turn after passing and go to give my 2c worth, about the wisdom of experience - and it's a different woman, from another regional city about 150K to the west....

And it's not the first one, it's a second one...

Different car, different wench...

I have just come across TWO women, running out of fuel, in the middle of the night, in the middle of nowhere, in the space of 3 minutes...

She has been to the doors looking inside and finding no one...... and she is walking back towards the car..

So I ask, "Out of fuel?"

And she affirms it.

So I say, "This is the second woman I have run across in the space of 3 minutes, who is running out of fuel."

And the place is locked up, only the security lights inside are on, the fuel pumps are switched off and unlit, and there are NO other cars or vehicles or people around....


It's CLOSED, it's CLOSED, It's CLOSED.....

You know - it's CLOSED......

And she asks, "Can I get petrol here?"

I ask her, "Do I win a prize if I get the answer right?"

So I give the usual, "Where are you from and where you going too?" 

From a place 150K away and going to a place nearly 50K away...

And I said, "Well your from these areas where most of the fuel depots close early (at 9pm etc.), and they are far and few between in the middle of the night - so how come your running out of fuel?"

She goes, "I forgot to check the fuel gauge....."

I contemplated the issue of pulling a 300K+ midnight countryside run, in an area, where every fuel depot, aside from the place of origin, is basically closed...


I just looked at her, and said, "Experience is a good teacher - maybe make a bed in the back and call it a night." - before pedalling off into the pitch darkness of Bum Fuck Nowhere.....

But no... she was going to drive onto the next town and do what she wanted to do there.... Well she was hoping too... after all it's only 50K away and she is running out of fuel...

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It surprises me that in an area, where at getting on midnight, it's like 200Km - 400Km between fuel stops etc., that is the LAST thing the WOMEN are taking into consideration.....

No fuel = the car stops. Duh!


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I really think women should not be allowed to drive cars, unless they can pass a basic competency test - like dismantling their own car, into it's individual components, and then putting it back together and making it run....

By doing shit like, "Reading the manual."

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There are SOME chicks I really like, but there are a lot that I am glad that they can go home to mother, and stay there.....

Life is easier when they do.

But if they don't and won't - You can always throw their shit out onto the nature strip and change the locks....