I have had a bad run of late dealing with dumb cunts...

There is no discernible dividing line between "normal" and "mentally ill" or between "normal" and "dysfunctional", or even kind of, between "intelligence and experience" and "idiot and no / minimal / experience".

So in amongst the madness of the apes and the evolution into idiodacy of the first order, come my grand adventure in getting a dumb fuck Aussie version of the Wog Salad Roll - The WSR... that goes under Greek, Lebanese, Turkish, Iranian, Syrian, etc., etc., etc., names of Dona Kebab, Kebob, Souvlaki, Gyros, - what ever - I am sure I have fucked this up;

But we will skip the regional varieties and personal customisations, and declare the to the the Great Wog Salad Roll - the universal food of all nations.

But the Wog Salad Roll (The WSR) is composed of assorted varieties of flat bread, piled high, with green vegetable fills, like lettuce, cucumber, parsley, carrot, tomato, chillie, and spreads like plain yogurt, homus, garlic, and of course, loads of freshly cooked meat, from a spit...

These ARE are the food of the gods.....

And a good one, is even better.

But back to the latest in a long string of dumb cunts...

Today's dumb cunt, worked in a "Under new management" take away, of which a souvlaki was ordered from.

"Would you like that with cheese?" - was the sales pitch, so thinking, a sprinkling of grated cheese on the said souvlaki - at a dollar extra, pushing the cost up to $11.50, was marginally acceptable - IF and ONLY if it was a really good souvlaki, I accepted and paid for it.

Now you'd think, with the "Under New Management" - would be trying to impress and secure new customers, but the drop kick got the job....

The management, was too fucking inept, to try the applicants out by giving them a basic screening like "Can you operate a grill / keep it at temperature / and can you cook a souvlaki / hamburger with the lot / deep fry some fish - and short list the ones who can cook by demonstrating it from scratch, without instruction, , from the ones who can't - but they fucking didn't.

Some cock head of a clueless chick, who can't cook, got the job.....

Well I was raised and fed by proper wogs, who made proper wog food, that was;

a) Really good food, and

b) It was nutritional - and it would do a splendid job of keeping you alive and healthy - unlike the shit those fucking arseholes at McDonalds and similar serve up. (Merkin Fast Spewed)

Yayyyyy the wogs and the wog tucker!


OK what makes the Wog Salad Roll a really decent feed, is all the FRESH vegetables...and the meat.

OK - so the dumb cunt cooks up some hamburger mince on the grill, WITH THE ONION.....

It's no longer fresh onion, it's cooked onion.

Duh...

Not the done thing.

And then it throws the grated cheese, into the souvlaki, and then folds up the flat bread, and pokes the whole lot, into a sandwich toaster - to grill / cook / melt the cheese in the souvlaki.....

Now can you guess what happens to the lettuce, tomato etc...

Yep - instant wilt and water...

The fresh, crispy lettuce turned to wet hot sludge...

Mega DOH!

You know, you don't put salad sandwiches, into a sandwich toaster....

But this chick, is like 37 - 43 years old - so it's lived long enough to get the life experience in the kitchen, and it's kind of fat, so it under stands shovelling shit down it's own throat....

And yet it's tossing what is essentially a salad sandwich, into a sandwich toaster.



Then this fucking retard serves up this botched up shit to me, with the understanding, that it's completely fucked it, and she said, "Oh it's all turned to water and it's soggy, if you don't like it I can make you another one.."

I eat it anyway - because I hate wasting food. So as it was shit to begin with, and she ruined that...

I pencil her out the name and address of a place that makes REAL SOUVLAKI'S / DONNER KEBABS and hand it to her, WITH THE PROVISIO, "Next time your in Melbourne, go to this place, because they are some of the best souvlaki makers ever...

ALASYSA

Perennial, family-owned halal Turkish place with simple decor, for kofta, meze and homemade bread.

Address: 555 Sydney Rd, Brunswick VIC 3056

http://www.alasya.com.au/

And the dumb cunt, the clueless fuck of a cook, looks at the note, hands it back to me and says, "Ohhh I am not the owners..."

(No - your the idiot cook, who can't cook, and who's sooo fucking dense it couldn't bake dog shit on the nature strip, on a sunny day)

And the souvlaki - really was shit... I mean it was BAD, and she fucked it..

It was soooooo bad, and I have never done this before, so I did ask for another, minus most of her genius moves, like either adding the cheese to the meat as it was cooking, OR simply adding the grated cheese to the souvlaki, as a cold ingredient, like the chopped lettuce and what not, and NOT tossing it all into a sandwich toaster..

But she couldn't because the boss was using the grill - and not because there wasn't enough room on the grill to do it...

And I thought, this chick has just ticked all the boxes for being fucked in the head, and being a clueless "cook", added to an idiot sense of customer service - and after asking twice - and seeing the stone wall of stupidity and excuses - I walked out.

I refuse to go to Fuckonalds, for anything other than the 50c ice cream cones when impending heat stroke is setting in, when exhausted, on a hot dry day, but I won't be going back this shit hole either.

But I guess this is a bad example of how idiot cunts think and act - LOL - and I have had like a string of like 25 of them in the last 2 or 3 weeks..

Really - if your travelling, and your tired of paying top dollar for fuck all, a short trip to Aldi for:

1/2 a kg of mince,
A lettuce,
A few tomatoes,
Some fresh garlic,
Yogurt,
Humus,
Parsley,
Cucumber,
Zuccini,
Anything else, like eggs, bacon, sausages, peanut butter, vegetables, etc, etc., etc.

A pack or two of flat breads..


And find some roadside BBQ, or light your own fire etc, and that $15 -$20 investment in QUALITY NUTRITION, will keep you and or another one or two, well fed for a whole day.

Two or three meal breaks, and depending on how hungry you are, and how much filling you want to pack into them, you can have 1 or 2 or 3 really good, high vegetable content rolls, (donner kebabs / souvlaki's) per meal, 2 or 3 times a day, over a whole days travelling....


Add in some fruit, fresh water, etc...

And you can skip the Retards in the Road Side Dives, instead of being one who spends up on crap when eating there.

Google or ask around / keep your eyes open...

BBQ road side stop park site:au 

Australia is just covered in great places to stop, cook and eat......

Parks, gardens, reserves, national parks, road side stops...



I get it about the issue of travel, convenience and COST, but the world has become a collective of lazy arsed shit eating losers, who pay through the nose to eat crap. 

And do I want to spend the rest of my life as a loser who eats high priced shit from Merkin Fast Spewed retailers, instead of planning ahead, getting ahead, and getting real nutritional bang for your buck in the process?

Eating a sugar filled biological fuck fest from Fuckonalds - $8 a peanut sized burger, $5 chips, $5 coffee, $5 dessert, $5 second coffee.... That is like $30 per head, per meal - and you get fuck all food, and basically zero nutrition, and if your doing this for 5 people 3 times a day....

Your going to plough through a LOT of money, really quickly......

Hit Aldi, and make some really decent filling meals, on a real BBQ, in any of the tens of thousands of really great places, to stop, and make a real meal, for like $5 per head - and it's solid tasty nutrition.

Not the bowel cancer, diabetes, creating, GM filled, fuck feast from Fuckonalds.  

Real Food - Great Places...