Fuck I hate Aldi - mostly their marketing dept.

Fuck Aldi...

For starters I am SO over their "HURRY LIMITED SPECIALS IN STOCK" - which is just spruiking for panic buying...

Also while some of their gear is good - some of their discount stuff really is appallingly bad build quality....



What pisses me right off is their "Dumb Fuck" marketing department.

Why do I say this - because they sell stuff with the most basic of information - like the following:

Adjustable Elm Wood Easel



Faux leather carry handle
Foldable and adjustable
Made from Elm Wood ------ (Well "Oh fucking Duh")


Table Top Elm Wood Easel



Folds flat for storage
Adjustable to fit different sized canvas
Made with quality Elm Wood (need I say it?)


Paint Assorted 100ml



Paint Assorted 100ml


Like from where I stand - The Easels - the free standing and the table one:

1. WHAT are their maximum and minimum dimensions - as in opened up and closed up?

2. What sized canvasses will they hold - maximum and minimum or "Up too"?



 And the paints?

One would assume that for that price they are school quality acrylic paints.

But are they?

Are they oil, acrylic, water based, latex based etc.?

Do they have any sort of arty farty endorsements?

What is their light fastness and resistance to ageing / fading?

Are they water resistant?

Are their pigments synthetic or mineral (fading and non fading?)

Are they actually  a QUALITY artist type of paint, that are being sold at a low price, or are they the cheapest watery shit paints that you can get - with loads of thickeners and salt,  in a tube - that costs $1.50 a litre to make?

I have had numerous fights with them about this idiot practice over things like this:



"Compact Florescents - 8 pack - $14.99" - and  

They don't list the actual fucking wattage of the lights.... 

Are they 7W which is fine for a bedside light or a toilet, or are they 11, 14, 18, 20 or 24W?

And the fuckers don't tell you what part of the spectrum they spew most of their light out at. Are they cool white, warm white, day light?

If I want a big room light, I will use the 24W - Daylight or Cool White - especially in summer.  If I want a small room lit in winter, I will pick the warm white 14 or 18W, and if I want one for the laundry - 11W...

But the morons in the marketing dept - 6 lights for $14 and that is all they tell you.

You know like "Oh fucking Duh!"

That lack of the most fundamental information, "How bright is the light?" - is into such shit for brains territory.....

It's exactly as dumb as selling pairs of shoes without listing the sizes.

"Hurry into Aldi now! Huge discount on shoes. Four Pairs for $49.99"

But they don't tell you that they only come in size 7.

It's the same shit for brains marketing.

Idiot marketing dept and idiot management.....


And if you DO ask the people in Aldi - all these clever questions about the product - at best you might get the number for the company selling the stuff to Aldi, and for the most part - most of these useless suppliers, know nothing about anything either.

They are just drop ship importers....

"Awwww yeah - give us 10 container loads of them."

And that is about as far as it gets.



The people in Aldi's marketing dept do this shit with their products ALL the time.

Technically clueless people, selling shit like "Wooden posts - made from real wood" - well fuck yeah that is real helpful that is.

How long and wide and thick is it? Has it been treated against termite, fungus, borers etc? What species of tree is it? Is it OK to use as fence posts in the ground or is it only good for indoor use?

Or are they tooth pick sized posts, for model farms, with little plastic cows?


Other fucking dumbness

Some of the basic tips on internal combustion engine quality are that the bores of the engines are lined with cast iron or a nickel silicon coating etc.. and the valve guides are cast iron etc..



Cheap shit industrial engines, have plain aluminium bores, and the valve guides are just holes drilled and reamed in the aluminium heads......

Engines that have plain aluminium bores and valve guides are cheap shit engines that do not last.

The people running Aldi say, "Amazingly Amazing engines" (in the generator / water pump / lawn mower etc)  - but when you ask them the technical questions - like do they have cast iron valve guides?

No one knows - the marketing dept, the importers etc., no one has a fucking clue.

You could actually be getting a pretty good engine, at a low price, or you could be buying a disposable piece of shit that mows the lawns 5 times a year @ 20 minutes per time and then goes tits up after 3 years....

Factor in the costs in time, fuel, etc., etc., etc and the purchase price - you may have been far better off getting a mower with a reliable QUALITY engine in it, like Honda etc., at 3 or 4 times the price, but with care, it will last like 25 years.


I know how absolutely fucking SHIT their power tools CAN be.

One of my most intimidating assets, is that I read stacks of books on bearings and engine design, I built, made, modified, all sorts of things, and then I got a qualification in engineering.....

Yes - it makes me a know it all - because I can and do. And there are stacks of other really smart people - who know way more than me... but life is short and there is limited time to learn by learning and doing so many things...


The average clueless paper pusher in most purchasing dept's are just that.

OK a fast lesson in ball bearings - the best one are specialist devices, with the balls super finished to spherical and surface tolerances that are very fine, then comes the lower spec ones, and then the average bearings in almost everything, and then comes the cheaper ones for low speed, low load and then comes the cheapest of the lot, the ones made from chopped up lengths of wire that are then pressed into being mostly round enough, and they might be lightly ground to make them spherical....

These are the sorts of bearings that go into things like cheap moving trolley wheels, the speeds are very low, the need for high accuracy and alignment is low, and they have open seals, and are usually dead within 400Km...



A Torus (rebadged and resprayed) cheap shit router - the motor bearings ran 2 hours and died. Turns out they were cheap shit "kids toys" grade of bearings - not high quality bearings that are made to run at 20,000 RPM for 20,000 hours etc..

I decided to rebuild the fucking thing, and put in REAL quality bearings.... and yeah it's still a piece of shit - but I only bought it to see if I actually wanted to get into using routers... and the HIGH QUALITY ones do cost wayyyyy more...

When it comes to buying another router - it sure as shit won't be one from Aldi.



But this is more of the idiot Marketing Departments stupidity - none of them EVER seem to pull anything out of their boxes and give them a test drive....

None of them ever use the products, none of them know how the products work, none of them know how to repair anything, they are just dead heads who shuffle paper across the desks.....

So I have come to regard Aldi as a seller of suspect quality goods.

Some of their stuff is good - very happy with it.

But some of it is bottom dollar garbage - it's semi defective shit that is being dumped on the market...



So their idiot marketing department fails on including technically accurate, relevant  descriptions of their products for sale.

They also fail for not performing basic evaluation tests on products.

You see the dimwits, buy power tools that are such buckets of shit - that they basically do not work.

A case in point: The Aldi "Tauraus" branded saw, that is resprayed and differently coloured plastic bits and labels and is sold under a dozen "Craptastic" brand names.


Well the very, very, very thin steel frame, is so thin that when the saw is running along a STRAIGHT edge, to cut a straight line, the thin frame flexes so easily that the saw will go offline by about 3mm either way - and that is even with using very, very careful straight driving.

So for REAL timber working, for cutting within say 0.3mm of a straight line, - it's a piece of shit. It's unuseable.  It's OK for cutting up firewood and that is about it.

But the numbskulls in the marketing dept - Do they test them? No.  Do they drop a box of 10 off to a wood working club, pay them $100 for an hours evaluation and ask if they are OK? Nooooooo they don't - because they are too fucking stupid.

They buy them SOOO fucking cheap and sell them not so cheap and then call that profit - and the items are unuseable.

They are shit....

The Aldi marketing department are filled with such idiots - who move junk for profit.




And their "worn so thin" panic buying message of "Hurry now - limited specials."?

Well I can wait 6 months for them to bring it out again and buy it then, or better yet, I can buy it else where, so they can stick that up their arse too.

Another person chooses not to jump through their "Hurry limited stock" hoops when they blow the whistle....

"Good doggy - jump through the hoop and you won't miss out!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well I still hate Aldi and their idiot marketing dept - as much of the crap they sell is just space wasting garbage to clutter up your life and mind with.

"Hurry into Aldi now - limited stocks - sets of right handed and left handed tea towels, sponges, face washers, tea cups and coffee mugs for the whole family."

"Wow.... a set of left handed tea towels!" - as the house fills up with ever increasing amounts of shit.

Well the numb skulls are lifting their game somewhat.

They are now starting to actually provide technically relevant information with the LED lights.




It's an improvement.

At least they, in this one particular instance, are not treating people like retarded fucks - who don't know the difference between down lights and roomlights.


And guess what? After I have gotten stuck into them for the bullshit advertising...

Well they posted this on their site within a few months....


https://www.aldi.com.au/en/about-aldi/product-recalls/

Everything we do at ALDI is performed with one goal in mind: to provide consumers with only the best products at the lowest prices. Though, our top priority is you and your family's safety - and we take every measure to fulfill that promise.

We have developed stringent standards and undertake independent quality testing on an ongoing basis to ensure all suppliers meet our own strict specifications. 

On rare occasions, questions regarding a product's quality, safety or errors in packaging or shipment do arise in the retail world. ALDI has a plan to swiftly and effectively remove such products from the store. Any product that does not meet the government's and our own standards in any of these areas will be efficiently removed from sale and we will notify customers via a Product Recall alert.


LOL

I call bullshit on that too....

Aldi are basically bottom dollar drop shippers, and anyone smart enough to take them on with their bullshit - well they are not smart enough to hire me....

QED.

Comments

  1. You are obviously a moron. Buy stuff for next to nothing, expect everyoner to lick your arse just because you bought something which doesn't do what your brainless head decided it should. Grow up ? spend as much time finding out if the thing you want does it as you did on this dumb rant.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love it when dumb cunts call me a dumb cunt.

      It gives me that warm and fuzzy inner glow.

      Delete
  2. Actually this guy is right, there are only a few items which we are buying from Aldi. In general if the products are made in Germany they are good. If there are made in China then mostly they are of very low quality and compared they are not "cheap as next to nothing" If there unusable or not able to eat/enjoy that means they are very expensive. Unfortunately in the past we bought some electric appliances. They work for the for the first few weeks then (after the warranty expired) even unused they are falling apart.

    ReplyDelete

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