Webinars and Webcasts - or Web Based Seminars - and the fuckwits who promote them

Advertising Agencies - etc., Idiot Marketing Departments - I hate them.

I also hate things that are "fucking stupidly" done.

OK I love reading, fucking and maintaining an objective course through life.....


/So I subscribe to assorted journals / tech / industry etc., or have, about assorted subjects.

Many of them require a proper sign up - and I think my email address should suffice.

But what happens is that they like to "OFFER" me the chance to participate in assorted things - either directly or through one of their affiliates - usually through the format of a web based seminar.

That is FINE....

But where these idiots fuck it all up, is they send me an email espousing this magnificent opportunity...

And it all goes down hill from here.

The email contains a link - to sign up for the webinar - but Americans are particularly fucking stupid in this respect - in that they assume that their 2pm is every one's 2pm - when it's my 5am...

And they don't include a link for the PODCAST of the webinar - if you don't want too sign up for the live event.

And since the email that was sent to ones email address - is a LINK between the company and the affiliates or whoever, and ones self - one IS technically registered.

But what the fucks want you to do, is fill out ALL of this other information about yourself, usually the full on market survey type bullshit - which gets up my nose and wastes my time because the whole issue is being delivered the wrong way.

See the webinar is almost always about the promotion of goods and services and the generation of new sales etc.

My approach to this is "Yeah perhaps I am interested - if only for informational purposes, and IF I like what I see and I have a NEED to purchase these goods and services, then and only then, will I enter into a contract to purchase these goods and services.

And for the delivery of such goods and services - ALL that is then needed, is a delivery address - either by email or courier.

They all fail to grasp the idea that I am not interested in spending 10 minutes of my time filling out a customer profile for their marketing purposes, and that I have no intention of getting up at 4am to watch some presentation, and on the basis of the presentation - I may choose to enter into a contract; but they refuse to provide access to the presentation to the video - either unless you jump through all their fucking hoops or by providing a link that you can use to download the video with ones podcasting software.

And what is as equally annoying is that they also do this - "Click on this link to get your free copy of "How to code for Unix 27.2420 in spatial co-ordination systems." - but the idiot fucks - lose the connection between clicking on the link, and FREE - which means no obligation, payment or commitment - and they ask you to fill out ANOTHER customer profile set of web pages......

Which takes another 10 or 15 minutes of bullshit......
 

In short, they are stupid fucking human beings.

When I get one of these great offers of a life time that will triple my sales and double my productivity etc., type idiot marketing emails, I am now so tired of dealing with idiot fucks in advertising agencies and marketing departments, that I just sent them a reply email saying,, "Send me the link to the podcast of the webinar."

Or if it's for my own "FREE COPY OF" - I bail them up and say, "Why doesn't your link go directly to the download page, instead of a 72 question customer profile building page, that has links that need to be double check back to my email address and then I have to click on the new emails to confirm that my email address is my address and that I have filled out the 72 questions....

And your download will start in 30 seconds - after they show you a whole heap of adds for shit that you neither want nor need....

That ping pong email bullshit - when the "Down load your free copy" link - should have done that and only that....


And that is it.

I have just got NO time for stupid cunts and their bullshit......

If they are not prepared to serve up access so they can make more sales, or have a far broader understanding of the word "FREE" that is known only to them, without fucking me around in the process - then I basically tell them too fuck off.

I really hate filling out forms and doing stupid shit, because others think I ought too - especially entering into a relationship, by providing all my details when they have yet to prove that they are anything beyond any one of thousands of spectacles on the internet marketing stream of life....

"Why do you ask me for my (shipping) address? - We have not seen what is on offer, we have not made a purchase, and we have not entered into a contract for future business nor have we established any good reasons to maintain that relationship."

And the fucking idiots don't get that.

Now if it was just ONE company doing once every year or so... and the product was exactly what I was looking for... yeah I'd probably be inclined to play along with the stupid bullshit....

But when there are numbers of the same idiots doing the same shit, or worse, the one company - doing the same stupid shit, over and over and over again....

"Click on this link" - "But I filled out all that shit last week..."

"Click on this link" - "But I filled out all that shit last week..."

"Click on this link" - "But I filled out all that shit last week..."

They either lift their game when I tell them too, or I give them the arse.