Fuck I hate dealing with SAMSUNG....
I dislike dishonesty and theft.
Once upon a time - my 15 year old fixed shade electric welding helmet lense died from old age and internal corrosion - and the dinkum Aussie Mark-ups - what I coined as "The Great Australian Gouge" meant that the ONE basic welding lense, was more expensive to replace, than an entire welding helmet - with all the shade and sensitivity controls; from China, at Australian prices.
The really good ESAB and European brands were terribly expensive.....
So struggling to get by - I went to get an electric welding helmet from China - via Ali Baba and I met enormous numbers of thieving halfwit cunts in China - who pull their bogus bullshit on people. A couple of years of dealing with shit for brains "Western Union - Cash to US - Con Artists" showed me how stupid some of them actually ARE.
Then we got into the bullshit artist emailers - who if your after a welding helmet, they email you daily with loads of lists of shit like toys, car parts, and other junk shop shit - which is NOT a welding helmet....
They are so stupid - if someone is after a bag of bolts, you don't keep trying to sell them a pound of potatoes...
And the cunts just don't get that....
200 types of childrens toys
No - I only advertised for an autodarkening welding helmet.
500 kitchen tools and applicances...
No - I only advertised for an autodarkening welding helmet.
300 stationary and office products....
No - I only advertised for an autodarkening welding helmet.
Then we get into the professional / crime / business as usual fakes industry - some of it is excellent quality - but much of it is cheap shit, bottom dollar crap and some of it is outright dangerous.
So I am against knock off's and fakes as a general idea - but I have no sympathy for companies who like Google and Apple etc., the managers of which, make billions, and use off shoring tax evasion, and while employing 2000 staff in their head office in California, do their dodgy dealings and say they only earned $10 and paid 50c tax to the state.... and yet mark up their shit from the factory in China, from $25 at the gate and $1299 at the retailer....
I don't mind it if they get fucked over for being cunts in general..... with an imitation unit that is about as good and selling for $199 on the street.
I am flexible in terms of scumminess and greedy corporate / business mark ups....
This is a brilliant video - and in watching it, I went in for "Yeah I'd rather go for a legitimate product, with a guarantee and a standard of performance, instead of getting one of the units from the "Who Flung Dung Dodgy Battery Fire Co."
So when my Samsung phone's battery started going tit's up - I said, "I am not going to by some knock of piece of discount shit from Ebay, that fucks up and ruins my phone too - I will go through the company and get the REAL battery.
If I am after a LEGITIMATE product, made to a standard, from a reputable manufacturer, I don't want a fake made of shit.
So I decided that I want to be that bit more honest.
I don't want to support, or get conned by people, making or selling dodgy shit.
I don't care about handbags that "look like" the original things, and are marketed as their own brand, and not the brand they are copying - I am pissed off with the idea of dubious quality product, being sold as the original brand name item.
OK I own (or is is license these days?) a Samsung phone.
The basic model - works fine, fits in the pocket and lacks a recessed kill switch, so that every 3rd step, the buttons and functions don't get activated in your pocket - with half your contacts getting deleted etc...
Or your phone is dialling Da Da Idi Amin at the Kampala Key Club, for you.
Yeah so it runs a fucked up version of Android - that spends ages booting up and flashing it's own brands logo at you and making cutesy fucking noises - where as I like ON + TOTAL SILENCE.
My idea of a wild time, is a ticking grandfather style clock, in a totally silent house - and maybe a bowl of hot soup and chirping birds and growing grass.....
The idiots at Samsung make the idiot program scan the memory card for DRM issues....
And that fucks up everything for the next minute or two....
So about two minutes into the game - from the on button... the phone is finally fucking working.
Unless it's plugged in to a charger - where it will pause indefinitely, to tell you that it's charging, instead of just fucking turning on and telling you the state of the battery - AFTER it's fucking ON.
So you have to press and hold or repress, to bypass the charging screen..... (Why??????? Fucking slope cunts....)
Once it's finally fucking ON....
Then we get several versions of the same thing, that hog heaps of memory - to do with mapping.
Samsung PLACES.
Samsung MAPS.
Google NAVIGATION
Android NAVIGON
????? Lattitude
Most of which I don't want or need..... AND cannot uninstall. (cunts) -as they all soak up heaps of memory.
Dual versions of mapping / GPS / street directory programs - Google and Samsungs.
Why??????? The automatic updating - is fucked, because all the dual versions of each others programs, use up all the memory, and there is none left to update.
The music player is a piece of shit - as far as interfaces go. Give me VLC media player anyday - but the fucks in Google won't update the version of Android, to run that.
Then you get Music Hub - that you can't use, because it has to update to the latest version and there is not enough memory on the phone to update it.
And then we get the usual Google bullshit - the Youtube, Books, Talk, Social Hub, Gmail - and several versions of Google Search - the "Search" (program) and then the Google "internet" which are the same fucking thing.
Then we get Google Apps and Samsung Apps.....
And the phone chokes on it's own dick - because it can't update anything, because there is not enough memory left to do it with....
And the stupid cunts in Google and Samsung, well none of the "system applications" can be uninstalled.
Google has NO fucking customer service. The Customer service at Samsung, some times the people have been good - but it is usually bullshit.... and the more technical stuff - no hope or help there.
And although the Android software is GPL or GLPL ??? licensed, which basically means you can hack the operating system, any "improvements" have to acknowledge the previous builders as well as the mods you make have to be listed before on sharing.
But the cunts in Samsung - won't tell you how to gain SU (super user) access to the OS (Linux), by telling you the password / code to do it with.
I mean it's YOUR FUCKING PHONE - right? Cunts. They play games like that.
They say they discourage it, even though the license allows it - but they still fuck you off anyway.
So they also refuse to let you remove all the stupid shit you don't want or need, and because you can't gain access to the OS, you can't recode the fucking phone to eliminate all the stupid shit / idiot functions....
Like there are several distinct ways of exiting a call - using the bog stock call function..... One results in going through the last 3 or 4 callers, one results in going to the callers details to recall or message them, one of them is to drop the caller menu list entirely etc., etc., etc...
So I want to recode that stupid shit....
Forever hitting the "back" key to get back to the menu.
I don't want splash screens on start up - in fact I hate them.
That goes for any AV product.
I know it's a Brand X, Y or Z product - it says so on the front of it.
I do not want to see flashing reminders, on the screen, that says it's a Brand X, Y or Z product - that goes for computer monitors, TV's, mobile phones etc...
I just want the cunt to turn ON, and the reason I am turning it on, is because I want to make a PHONE CALL....
I also hate nazi surveillance ware - and the DRM functions on a phone, courtesy of Google - the NSA bitch with it's Goatse arse; I don't like being under surveillance with my own phone while they tell me they have a right to inspect my memory card - in my fucking time.....
I also don't like that it takes a minute or so, to do the scanning - remember - I turned on the phone to make a phone call - not to stand there with my finger up my arse while it boots up and the cunts in Google and Samsung, run all their fucking programs - before I can make a call.
AND
In terms of SHIT programming - I hate the fact that these stupid cunts, have programmed it to do all this bullshit that I don't want or need - before I can make a call, instead of allocating these non essential phone functions, into a time and space where the phone is fucking idling - like AFTER I have made my calls.....
You know like "Mind if I make a phone call before I hemorrhage to death?"
And after a few years, the battery starts to fuck up - chemically ageing.
Go to the Samsung Australia website.....
Phones, Phones, Phones + bullshit - but NO batteries for sale.
Well why the fuck NOT?
(cunts.)
So I ring them - and this is where we get more of the "fucking shit for brains" corporate impositions.
"Blah, blah, blah." the recorded bullshit goes on with, "And we MAY need to ask you personally identifying questions, privacy policy - Blah, blah, blah."
So, when I finally get to talk to a real human being (brain optional) I say, "I want to buy a battery for a XYZ model Samsung phone."
The direct inference being, "I want to buy a new battery for my phone" to be followed up with - "Your phones make and model? + Yes we have them for sale, X Dollars, plain postage or express? Name, Address, Credit Card - will be there in 24 hours / 7 days."
What do they do? "Can we start with your first and last name?" then "Phone number? Address? Phones Serial Number? What is the problem your having? blah, blah, blah... Is there something wrong with the battery???? blah, blah, blah... Can you describe the problem with the battery blah, blah, blah... "
And finally - after much bullshit - and dismantling the phone to get the magic microscope number inside it, behind the battery - and time wasting we get to the fucking point.
"No - we do not sell batteries for the phone."
So I have learned to hammer them, and skip all the corporate customer bullshit with, "Can we start with your first and last names?" - DO YOU SELL BATTERIES FOR THESE PHONES, here, right now, while we make this phone call - YES OR NO?"
That may have to be repeated 5 or 6 times... because if they don't sell batteries, then giving them any other information is just a waste of my fucking time. In fact getting engaged with them to give any other information that is not actually mission critical is just a fucking waste of time.
So we then go to "Can you tell me where I can buy them."
I get offered the choice of ONE shop that is like 200K away in the middle of nowhere.
I ask for some other ones a LOT closer.....
The assumption is that I assume that I cam going to travel all the way across to the retailer and buy a battery - when none of the retailers have any batteries for sale and none of them will get the batteries in for me.
I call them both and the first one - they do sell phones but NOT spares for them - like batteries.
And the second "Samsung" dealer, neither sells the phones, nor the batteries.
(Good one Optus - cunts)
And the original shop I bought the phone from, who is still selling that model phone like everyone else who does not want to pay $500 + for a smart phone, to people who will strongly resent paying much over $100 - "Nope- don't sell batteries for nuffin, eiva."
So I call the numbskulls up at Samsung - Again......... And they tell me to go too their technical service dept... which is only 300K away....
Wow - a 600K round trip to buy a mobile phone battery.... as the manufacturer doesn't sell them from the website and none of the agents do either...
It's not that they actually don't - I might say, but just how many of them do I have to call, before I find one that stocks them?
But the idiots won't sell them from the website....
Samsung are absolute cunts to deal with for anything.....
And genuine or not, you can buy the batteries for $11 on Ebay....
Well how this has progressed so far
I am at the point of where there is so much bullshit and so many stupid cunts at - Samsung in Australia?????
Next phone buy will be on the advertised credentials "Genuine FAKE Samsung phone - totally fake, works well, 1/3 the price of a real one."
http://forums.whirlpool.net.au/archive/2029560
Why - because 6 hours of my time, 9 calls, 4 or 5 return calls that were promised and not made and just all the bullshit under the sun....
This has been so bad that the idiot at the call centre, when I asked to be transferred to the Vermont mega modern service centre... at Vermont in Victoria - he asked me which store do I want.... Because there are two of them on the same street....
Well there is not.
And another person at the same centre, oh he transfers me all right - but he tells me that they are open - when it's like 7pm.. and the centre closes at 5.....
I was on hold for a little while before I figured that out - while he transferred the call.
And after hours and hours and hours of stupid shit, endless recorded messages and foreign call centres and about 4 or 5 calls that were never returned etc... ALL the planets lined up and I got through to a girl, explained the problems and all that - and what does miss lame brain do?
First she sees that they have to order a battery in, and then she tells me that it's $22 plus freight......
They are too stupid to sell them direct from the website, the customer service centre - they don't sell them, the retailers they refer me to, to buy the batteries from - none of them sell the batteries and the modern mega value service centre in Vermont - they have to order them in....
You think they would just send me one for free? After all of this? Nope - twice the price of ebay and shipping on top.
6 hours of shit and running around - and for what?
Now about buying the "Genuinely genuine Samsung Batterlies off some chinese cunt on Ebay for $11 with postage." on Ebay - the internet leader in knockoffs and fakes.
I also might take a good look at the Chinese clone phones as Samsung are NOT worth hiring - if they want to do endless amounts of stupid shit and employ endless amounts of clueless people and take up endless amounts of my time - then they are just not worth hiring.
I hope someone grabs those idiot managers at Samsung in Australia and punches them in the head for being stupid.
Once upon a time - my 15 year old fixed shade electric welding helmet lense died from old age and internal corrosion - and the dinkum Aussie Mark-ups - what I coined as "The Great Australian Gouge" meant that the ONE basic welding lense, was more expensive to replace, than an entire welding helmet - with all the shade and sensitivity controls; from China, at Australian prices.
The really good ESAB and European brands were terribly expensive.....
So struggling to get by - I went to get an electric welding helmet from China - via Ali Baba and I met enormous numbers of thieving halfwit cunts in China - who pull their bogus bullshit on people. A couple of years of dealing with shit for brains "Western Union - Cash to US - Con Artists" showed me how stupid some of them actually ARE.
Then we got into the bullshit artist emailers - who if your after a welding helmet, they email you daily with loads of lists of shit like toys, car parts, and other junk shop shit - which is NOT a welding helmet....
They are so stupid - if someone is after a bag of bolts, you don't keep trying to sell them a pound of potatoes...
And the cunts just don't get that....
200 types of childrens toys
No - I only advertised for an autodarkening welding helmet.
500 kitchen tools and applicances...
No - I only advertised for an autodarkening welding helmet.
300 stationary and office products....
No - I only advertised for an autodarkening welding helmet.
Then we get into the professional / crime / business as usual fakes industry - some of it is excellent quality - but much of it is cheap shit, bottom dollar crap and some of it is outright dangerous.
So I am against knock off's and fakes as a general idea - but I have no sympathy for companies who like Google and Apple etc., the managers of which, make billions, and use off shoring tax evasion, and while employing 2000 staff in their head office in California, do their dodgy dealings and say they only earned $10 and paid 50c tax to the state.... and yet mark up their shit from the factory in China, from $25 at the gate and $1299 at the retailer....
I don't mind it if they get fucked over for being cunts in general..... with an imitation unit that is about as good and selling for $199 on the street.
I am flexible in terms of scumminess and greedy corporate / business mark ups....
This is a brilliant video - and in watching it, I went in for "Yeah I'd rather go for a legitimate product, with a guarantee and a standard of performance, instead of getting one of the units from the "Who Flung Dung Dodgy Battery Fire Co."
So when my Samsung phone's battery started going tit's up - I said, "I am not going to by some knock of piece of discount shit from Ebay, that fucks up and ruins my phone too - I will go through the company and get the REAL battery.
If I am after a LEGITIMATE product, made to a standard, from a reputable manufacturer, I don't want a fake made of shit.
So I decided that I want to be that bit more honest.
I don't want to support, or get conned by people, making or selling dodgy shit.
I don't care about handbags that "look like" the original things, and are marketed as their own brand, and not the brand they are copying - I am pissed off with the idea of dubious quality product, being sold as the original brand name item.
OK I own (or is is license these days?) a Samsung phone.
The basic model - works fine, fits in the pocket and lacks a recessed kill switch, so that every 3rd step, the buttons and functions don't get activated in your pocket - with half your contacts getting deleted etc...
Or your phone is dialling Da Da Idi Amin at the Kampala Key Club, for you.
Yeah so it runs a fucked up version of Android - that spends ages booting up and flashing it's own brands logo at you and making cutesy fucking noises - where as I like ON + TOTAL SILENCE.
My idea of a wild time, is a ticking grandfather style clock, in a totally silent house - and maybe a bowl of hot soup and chirping birds and growing grass.....
The idiots at Samsung make the idiot program scan the memory card for DRM issues....
And that fucks up everything for the next minute or two....
So about two minutes into the game - from the on button... the phone is finally fucking working.
Unless it's plugged in to a charger - where it will pause indefinitely, to tell you that it's charging, instead of just fucking turning on and telling you the state of the battery - AFTER it's fucking ON.
So you have to press and hold or repress, to bypass the charging screen..... (Why??????? Fucking slope cunts....)
Once it's finally fucking ON....
Then we get several versions of the same thing, that hog heaps of memory - to do with mapping.
Samsung PLACES.
Samsung MAPS.
Google NAVIGATION
Android NAVIGON
????? Lattitude
Most of which I don't want or need..... AND cannot uninstall. (cunts) -as they all soak up heaps of memory.
Dual versions of mapping / GPS / street directory programs - Google and Samsungs.
Why??????? The automatic updating - is fucked, because all the dual versions of each others programs, use up all the memory, and there is none left to update.
The music player is a piece of shit - as far as interfaces go. Give me VLC media player anyday - but the fucks in Google won't update the version of Android, to run that.
Then you get Music Hub - that you can't use, because it has to update to the latest version and there is not enough memory on the phone to update it.
And then we get the usual Google bullshit - the Youtube, Books, Talk, Social Hub, Gmail - and several versions of Google Search - the "Search" (program) and then the Google "internet" which are the same fucking thing.
Then we get Google Apps and Samsung Apps.....
And the phone chokes on it's own dick - because it can't update anything, because there is not enough memory left to do it with....
And the stupid cunts in Google and Samsung, well none of the "system applications" can be uninstalled.
Google has NO fucking customer service. The Customer service at Samsung, some times the people have been good - but it is usually bullshit.... and the more technical stuff - no hope or help there.
And although the Android software is GPL or GLPL ??? licensed, which basically means you can hack the operating system, any "improvements" have to acknowledge the previous builders as well as the mods you make have to be listed before on sharing.
But the cunts in Samsung - won't tell you how to gain SU (super user) access to the OS (Linux), by telling you the password / code to do it with.
I mean it's YOUR FUCKING PHONE - right? Cunts. They play games like that.
They say they discourage it, even though the license allows it - but they still fuck you off anyway.
So they also refuse to let you remove all the stupid shit you don't want or need, and because you can't gain access to the OS, you can't recode the fucking phone to eliminate all the stupid shit / idiot functions....
Like there are several distinct ways of exiting a call - using the bog stock call function..... One results in going through the last 3 or 4 callers, one results in going to the callers details to recall or message them, one of them is to drop the caller menu list entirely etc., etc., etc...
So I want to recode that stupid shit....
Forever hitting the "back" key to get back to the menu.
I don't want splash screens on start up - in fact I hate them.
That goes for any AV product.
I know it's a Brand X, Y or Z product - it says so on the front of it.
I do not want to see flashing reminders, on the screen, that says it's a Brand X, Y or Z product - that goes for computer monitors, TV's, mobile phones etc...
I just want the cunt to turn ON, and the reason I am turning it on, is because I want to make a PHONE CALL....
I also hate nazi surveillance ware - and the DRM functions on a phone, courtesy of Google - the NSA bitch with it's Goatse arse; I don't like being under surveillance with my own phone while they tell me they have a right to inspect my memory card - in my fucking time.....
I also don't like that it takes a minute or so, to do the scanning - remember - I turned on the phone to make a phone call - not to stand there with my finger up my arse while it boots up and the cunts in Google and Samsung, run all their fucking programs - before I can make a call.
AND
In terms of SHIT programming - I hate the fact that these stupid cunts, have programmed it to do all this bullshit that I don't want or need - before I can make a call, instead of allocating these non essential phone functions, into a time and space where the phone is fucking idling - like AFTER I have made my calls.....
You know like "Mind if I make a phone call before I hemorrhage to death?"
And after a few years, the battery starts to fuck up - chemically ageing.
Go to the Samsung Australia website.....
Phones, Phones, Phones + bullshit - but NO batteries for sale.
Well why the fuck NOT?
(cunts.)
So I ring them - and this is where we get more of the "fucking shit for brains" corporate impositions.
"Blah, blah, blah." the recorded bullshit goes on with, "And we MAY need to ask you personally identifying questions, privacy policy - Blah, blah, blah."
So, when I finally get to talk to a real human being (brain optional) I say, "I want to buy a battery for a XYZ model Samsung phone."
The direct inference being, "I want to buy a new battery for my phone" to be followed up with - "Your phones make and model? + Yes we have them for sale, X Dollars, plain postage or express? Name, Address, Credit Card - will be there in 24 hours / 7 days."
What do they do? "Can we start with your first and last name?" then "Phone number? Address? Phones Serial Number? What is the problem your having? blah, blah, blah... Is there something wrong with the battery???? blah, blah, blah... Can you describe the problem with the battery blah, blah, blah... "
And finally - after much bullshit - and dismantling the phone to get the magic microscope number inside it, behind the battery - and time wasting we get to the fucking point.
"No - we do not sell batteries for the phone."
So I have learned to hammer them, and skip all the corporate customer bullshit with, "Can we start with your first and last names?" - DO YOU SELL BATTERIES FOR THESE PHONES, here, right now, while we make this phone call - YES OR NO?"
That may have to be repeated 5 or 6 times... because if they don't sell batteries, then giving them any other information is just a waste of my fucking time. In fact getting engaged with them to give any other information that is not actually mission critical is just a fucking waste of time.
So we then go to "Can you tell me where I can buy them."
I get offered the choice of ONE shop that is like 200K away in the middle of nowhere.
I ask for some other ones a LOT closer.....
The assumption is that I assume that I cam going to travel all the way across to the retailer and buy a battery - when none of the retailers have any batteries for sale and none of them will get the batteries in for me.
I call them both and the first one - they do sell phones but NOT spares for them - like batteries.
And the second "Samsung" dealer, neither sells the phones, nor the batteries.
(Good one Optus - cunts)
And the original shop I bought the phone from, who is still selling that model phone like everyone else who does not want to pay $500 + for a smart phone, to people who will strongly resent paying much over $100 - "Nope- don't sell batteries for nuffin, eiva."
So I call the numbskulls up at Samsung - Again......... And they tell me to go too their technical service dept... which is only 300K away....
Wow - a 600K round trip to buy a mobile phone battery.... as the manufacturer doesn't sell them from the website and none of the agents do either...
It's not that they actually don't - I might say, but just how many of them do I have to call, before I find one that stocks them?
But the idiots won't sell them from the website....
Samsung are absolute cunts to deal with for anything.....
And genuine or not, you can buy the batteries for $11 on Ebay....
Well how this has progressed so far
I am at the point of where there is so much bullshit and so many stupid cunts at - Samsung in Australia?????
Next phone buy will be on the advertised credentials "Genuine FAKE Samsung phone - totally fake, works well, 1/3 the price of a real one."
http://forums.whirlpool.net.au/archive/2029560
Why - because 6 hours of my time, 9 calls, 4 or 5 return calls that were promised and not made and just all the bullshit under the sun....
This has been so bad that the idiot at the call centre, when I asked to be transferred to the Vermont mega modern service centre... at Vermont in Victoria - he asked me which store do I want.... Because there are two of them on the same street....
Well there is not.
And another person at the same centre, oh he transfers me all right - but he tells me that they are open - when it's like 7pm.. and the centre closes at 5.....
I was on hold for a little while before I figured that out - while he transferred the call.
And after hours and hours and hours of stupid shit, endless recorded messages and foreign call centres and about 4 or 5 calls that were never returned etc... ALL the planets lined up and I got through to a girl, explained the problems and all that - and what does miss lame brain do?
First she sees that they have to order a battery in, and then she tells me that it's $22 plus freight......
They are too stupid to sell them direct from the website, the customer service centre - they don't sell them, the retailers they refer me to, to buy the batteries from - none of them sell the batteries and the modern mega value service centre in Vermont - they have to order them in....
You think they would just send me one for free? After all of this? Nope - twice the price of ebay and shipping on top.
6 hours of shit and running around - and for what?
Now about buying the "Genuinely genuine Samsung Batterlies off some chinese cunt on Ebay for $11 with postage." on Ebay - the internet leader in knockoffs and fakes.
I also might take a good look at the Chinese clone phones as Samsung are NOT worth hiring - if they want to do endless amounts of stupid shit and employ endless amounts of clueless people and take up endless amounts of my time - then they are just not worth hiring.
I hope someone grabs those idiot managers at Samsung in Australia and punches them in the head for being stupid.
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